Broken love
by black angel falling
Summary: Kai and Ray's relationship is torn apart before it even begun, with their friendship in danger and Kai's life falling apart, can they make it through their tragedy? dark themes
1. Tears

**Hello everyone once again I've written a story…ok one chapter but still, I've decided to write this in first person as an experiment. I'm thinking on writing my novel in first person so yeah I'd thought I'd try it on a fic first. Another thing as you can see I'm not dead. I know I haven't updated anything lately but I've had a lot on my plate and I swear I will update kai's stalker and silent witness and Tuesday and I will get around to catching up with everyone's fics.**

**Summery- kai and ray's relationship was torn apart before it even began with their friendship in danger and Kai's life falling apart can they ever get over their tragedy? **

**Broken love**

**Chapter 1**

**Tears**

I never thought I'd be here today. I always wondered what my Grandfathers life would be like if I was dead. Would he miss me? Would he grieve for me? We would be at my funeral? Perhaps he would, no punching bag, nobody to inherit his business, nobody to torture and nobody to hate. I always wondered if it would be best if I just died. It would be the best for everyone. Never did I think I'd be here, holding the knife in my hand.

I gave it to my Grandfather, who took from me. He turned towards the kitchen counter and brought it down on the cat. I burst into tears as I watched the three month old cats head roll off the counter and land with a thud on the floor. He thrust the body into my arms and demanded I get rid of it. Then he left me standing in the kitchen with the body of the stray cat in my hands. I wanted to run. Run to my friends. The only people who cared about me. But I couldn't. Not with _him_ there.

I picked up Carey's head and took her outside. Tears pouring out of my eyes, and my stomach churning. Placing her body in a bin bag, I buried her and choked on my sick for the second time that night. Grandfather came outside and dragged me back in by my hair. There was nothing I could do but scream out in pain. Screams that will never be heard. Screams I wanted to be heard.

I was thrown to the floor like a rag doll, my clothes torn off down to my boxers. _Swish-thwack. _The whip came down. _Swish-thwack._ Again pain seared through my body. _Swish-thwack._ New wounds opened. A kick to the ribs, punches to my stomach and face. That was all. He was too tired to beat me. It was well past midnight after all. He left me lying here, and went his comfy bed. In this spot, I laid for hours. I didn't move until three in the morning. I didn't feel like moving but I knew had to.

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'Kai!'

'Kai get down here!'

There was no way in hell I'm getting up. I'm staying in bed. Somebody's coming upstairs, not my grandfather these footsteps were not heavy. My bedroom door creaks open, and closes again. I feel somebody sit next to me.

'Kai?' A soft concerned voice. A tone I haven't heard for two months. Grandfather always spoke to me with a harsh rough voice full of anger and hatred. 'Are you awake?'

I mumble a yes as I sit up slowly, wincing at the pain in my legs from last night whipping. My duvet falls off of my head and I can see Tala's face. Worried, sad and a hint of fear.

'Hey.' He says to me softly.

'Hi.' I whisper back holding back tears.

He puts his hand on my bruised face and gently strokes me with his thumb. We stay silent for a while and he pulled me into a hug. 'You need to talk to Ray.'

I winced at his name then I shook my head. 'I cant.' tears rolled down my cheeks. I'm surprised my face does not look like a prune with the amount of crying I do. 'I'm not ready to speak to him.'

'You have to. You love him.'

'I know but…I cant face him.'

'Yes you can. Is it Voltaire your worried about? You can move in with me away from him.'

'I cant leave.'

'Why not?'

I stayed quiet for a moment before I answered. 'I'm only fifteen, he'll get the police and everything. Besides, everyone will stare at me.'

'I know but everyone always does Kai. You're a famous blader.'

'Famous for the wrong reasons.'

He kissed my cheek softly and lovingly. 'You have to speak to him. You cant ignore him forever.' I shook my head and closed my eyes. I cant face him. It hurts so much just hearing his name. Tala held me tighter, his warm embrace soothed my pain slightly, at least I had my little family to care for me, unlike my real family. Tala was like a brother to me, he was there for me when Ray and I split up. We sat for a good while, Tala stroked my hair and occasionally kissed my cheek. Not because he loved me in that way, it was just to show he cared and to keep me calm.

Over the past two months I lost contact with _them_, the majestic's, all stars and white tigers. The Blitzkrieg boys knew where I lived. I haven't seen Bryan, Spencer and Ian for three weeks. Only Tala came here to see me. My grandfather banned the rest for fighting. My grandfather has been going nuts at me for sitting in all day and not studying. I did go to school, sometimes, but I never paid attention. I'd stare out the window, thoughtlessly. Eventually the school got fed up with me and sent me to see the school councillor. It didn't do any good of course, as If I would tell them about me and _him_.

I did not like to think about _them_, just the name of my ex-team brought me into depression. The-blade breakers, were always trying to get hold of me. Trying to get me to speak to _him_. I ignored the phone calls, Tala's begging, Voltaire's nagging. Speak of the devil, he came into my room.

'Tala could you leave? I want to speak to Kai alone.' He asked as politely as possible.

Translation: Can you piss off so I can beat Kai?

Tala pushed me gently away and got to his feet. 'I'll come round later ok?'

I smile weakly and nod. I watched him leave and listened as he walked down the stairs and leaves the house. I look up at my grandfather. I feel like there are bombs exploding in my stomach. He looks at me with his hard glaring eyes.

'What the fuck is wrong with you! Always cooped up in this room! You should be studying! Now your going to tell me what's made you turn into a bloody…' He struggled to find the right word, 'basket case! What's gotten into you? Your driving me up the fucking wall!'

I stare at him feeling the tears prickling my eyes. 'ANSWER ME!' I flinched as if he had just smacked me and my tears escape. He slaps me. I continued to cry. He slapped me again, harder. I start sobbing. He pulls my hair. I scream. Another slap and he pulls my head back by my hair and puts his own face right up to mine, his eyes flaring.

'TELL ME YOU LITTLE SHITHOLE!'

I nearly wet myself in fear, I think I did wet myself. I was too scared to care about that just now. All I wanted was for him to leave me in peace. I whispered my answer, it came out all croaked and weak.

'Ray raped me.'

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**and there you have it! the first chap yay for me! sorry for all the swearing by the way. pleeeeaaaase review**


	2. confusion

**Hey thanks for all the reviews I'm very happy now then I know its It's been a million years since I last updated and I'm really sorry about that **

**Chapter 2**

**Confusion**

My Grandfather did nothing. He just stared at me. He looked puzzled, like he didn't understand what I had just said. Probably because he didn't. As far as he knew Ray and I were good friends, much to his dislike of course. He continued to stare at me, taking in what I said very, very slowly. He let go of my hair slowly and stood upright, his eyes never leaving mine.

'Rape?' He asked, still puzzled. I nod. 'How co…why would…what?' He shook his head slowly. 'I thought the nenko Jin (did I spell that right? Let me know please thanks lol) was your _friend_.'

I nodded again, unable to speak. He continued to stare at me as though he did not know what to do. He might not know what to do. He appears to be in _shock_?' how could he possibly be shocked? When he found out about the butler had been abusing me he just flipped and beat the hell out of him, he may have even killed him. As for _Boris_, well his best _friend_ got away with it. As far as I know my Grandfather told him to just told him to beat me, not rape. I think he only knows about the three occasions, Boris was careful not to get caught out. Could it be that that my Grandfather does care about me, to some extent? Could it be, he worry's about my mental health?…probably not, he did send me to the abbey after all.

I think he doesn't want me to be raped in case I turn out gay. He absolutely hates homosexuals. He wants me to be a father. Too bad for him then.

He finally took his eyes off my tearful face. 'You let a weakling like him, rape you?'

'I was to ill to fight him off.' I cried, my voice breaking half way through.

'Ill?' He repeated.

'I had a fever.' I replied, my voice failing.

'When?' H e asked roughly. I did not respond. 'When did he attack you boy?' He asked again raising his voice.

I choked back my tears. 'Two months ago but it wasn't hi…'

I couldn't finish my sentence, my voice box had clicked off completely. All I could do was sob weakly in front of Grandfather.

'And this is why you've been acting like a basket case? Hiding up here and refusing to see them.' 'Them' of course are my friends. 'This is why you have been failing in your school work.' He continued angrily.

I look down to avoid his viscous eyes. Why wont my voice let me tell him everything? 'Grandson, get yourself cleaned up!' he stormed out of my room, slamming my door behind him. I cried hard into my pillow.

How stupid and weak of me! I'm not even strong enough to tell him the truth. Yes, Ray raped me but Tala told me he was forced into it. I don't know if that's true though. I don't know what to believe. I'm confused, I'm scared. I love Ray. He wouldn't hurt me. He must have raped me because…because he knew I wouldn't sleep with him so early in our relationship. He knew about the butler raping me, I told him and he knew I would still be traumatised by it. He didn't want to wait for me so it's my fault! _My fault_! it's _always_ my fault! If I only I was ready, he wouldn't have to force himself on me.

Grandfather called me a basket case. How am I a basket case? Just because I've been used a toy by Boris, guards at the abbey and the butler doesn't make me a basket case!!

In my rage, I threw my bedside lamp hitting…Bryan!?!

H e gasped loudly as the lamp explodes against his body. I froze. His arms are both cut. He lifts his hand up and his mouth is wide open. He starts making strange noises and bends his knees, one at a time. He then clenched his hands into a tight fist. 'Eeeyeeeeyeeeyeeyeeeeyeeyee!'

I finally figured out why he is acting so strange, he's trying not to scream. If my Grandfather heard him he would come barging in and drag him out by the hair. Bryan has been banned form the house er mansion, for breaking a vase, setting the kitchen on fire, blowing the garden shed up and breaking the bathroom door down while Grandfather was in the middle of doing a poo. Not a pretty sight.

'Woooooheeeeeyashaaaaroooogaaaa!!!'

If I wasn't so upset I'd be laughing my head off at him. 'Bryan I'm sorry!' I sobbed.

'_That_! Was really, really sore.' Bryan said though clenched teeth.

'I'm sorry I didn't mean it I didn't see you!' I apologised desperately. I didn't want to lose another friend.

'Hey now. Come on it's alright.' He walked over to me and pulled me into a hug, covering me in blood. 'It's not your fault. You didn't know I was here.' He told me soothingly.

'But it is my fault!' I argued. 'Everything's my fault!' My voice was muffled by Bryan's shirt.

'No. oh no, no, no, no, no, nooo.' Bryan took face in his hands and bent down to my level. 'Nothing's your fault. Do you think it's you fault Ray hurt you?' I nod, again. 'It's not, he didn't Ra-hurt you on purpose.'

'He didn't?' I asked hopeful that Ray does love me and our friendship can be saved.

'Of course not, he loves you.'

'How do you know?' I asked almost inaudibly.

My bedroom swung open. 'Kai do yo…' My Grandfather paused. Bryan and I stared at him. 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?' He roared.

'AAAAH!!' Bryan ran to my window and forced it open. I immediately protested.

'BRYAN NO! WE'RE TWO STORIES UP!'

He stopped and looked down. 'Oh crap!' Grandfather marched towards him. I didn't know what to do, luckily Bryan had a back up plan. 'PEPPER SPRAY!' He pulled pepper spray out of his pocket and sprayed Grandfathers face. He pushed past, gave me a quick one arm hug and dashed out of my door.

After Bryan left, Grandfather swore all the swears under the sun. He washed his face, still swearing and I got showered and got into clean clothes. I sat on my bed, waiting for his next demands. He called me down, I found him in the kitchen, but he wasn't alone.

'Ah, young Kai. Voltaire was just telling me about what Ray did to you.' Boris greeted in a very good mood.

'Hm. Yes well I'll deal with that bastard. Kai stay away from you little friends. I will not have my grandson being sexually assaulted.'

Yeah right, you didn't do anything about Boris. I glare at them, hating every cell in their bodies.

'Excuse me one minute I've left my mobile phone in my bedroom.' Grandfather stood up from the kitchen table and left the room.

I walk over to the cupboard and take a glass out, Boris came up behind me. He placed one hand around my waist and the other on my face, creepily stroking my face. I could feel my heart race, my stomach churned. His hand around my waist found it's way into my trousers. I shake from fear and dread. I pray silently for my Grandfather to come back. Boris puts his dry lips against my neck.

'I wish I could take you to your room.' He smirked and groped my front area painfully. He hand on my face was now stroking my arm with one finger slowly. I can feel my tears prickling at the back of my eyes. 'It's been a while since we've done it. I'm going back to Russia in a few days time for some business, we need to find some time alone.' He licked my neck. His horrible wet slimy tongue moving up slowly made my stomach turn even more. I just want him off.

He moved away from me and sat down, Grandfather's footsteps were approaching. I wipe my neck with my sleeve, Boris chuckled, amused by this. Grandfather took his seat at the table and looked at me. He seemed to be thinking about something. I stared back for a while before realising I was holding a glass. I jumped when Boris spoke. 'So Voltaire, why did you call me over?'

'I see that your still trying to take over the world. I must say you nearly succeeded, that is until my grandson and his little team stopped you. I'm unimpressed.'

'Where are you going with this?' Boris asked him as I filled my glass with orange juice.

'You haven't been doing very well in life. You've lost millions of my money with that ridiculous plan of your's. You failed with the abbey, costing me more money and questions from the police. You've been abusing my grandson when I only asked you to beat him.' I winced when he said abusing and beat.

'Voltaire, I know I have cost you a lot, and I've only touched him three times…'

'He's been screaming in his sleep yelling for you to get off him, I went through into his room to shut him up and he said something about his birthday. As far as I know you haven't touched him on his birthday.'

I cant remember telling him that!

'It's just his dream. I swear I'm not abusing him in _that_ way.' Boris protested his 'innocence'.

'You've always had an unhealthy interest for him.'

'I haven't been raping him!' Boris continued to protest.

My Grandfather glared at him and I decided to make a quick exit, until Grandfather spoke to me. 'Kai. Has he raped you more than three time?'

Yes, so what? Like you care. He raped me everyday. My heart started to race again, he knew when I was lying. What will he do if he see's through my lie? I looked in his direction, not his eyes though. 'No. Grandfather.'

'You're a terrible liar Kai.'

Boris's eyes widened. 'What?'

'I don't believe him. I think you have been abusing him.' My Grandfather seemed amused by this. I made my way to the door way. 'Where are you going? I never said you can leave.' He snapped at me. I stopped and looked at him, why cant he just let me go? He turned his attention back to Boris. 'I'm sick of you wasting my time and money. The beatings at the abbey were enough to turn the boy's emotions off not rape.' He was getting angry, about Boris raping me? Did he hit his head this morning?

'So what? Yes I fucked the boy, but who cares? Why are suddenly attacking me over this? You've never cared about his welfare, you sent him to the abbey for fuck sake. Why are bothered about whether I raped him or not?' Boris asked raising his voice.

'Because I don't want him to turn out gay…' I knew it! 'and I don't want him in a mental hospital.' Wait what? 'He _is_ my grandson. I want him to be safe.' He's on drugs.

I couldn't make any sense of this. The beatings, the name calling, the using me as a lab rat, the using me as a tool for world domination, sending me too the abbey, now he's saying he cares for me? Why is he saying all of this? He _hates_ me! He only wants me to take over the stupid business. Why is he acting like this? Out of character? Is all an act to trick me into thinking I'll be safe from beatings from on? A cruel sick joke where they'll burst out laughing and attack me? I watched the argument go on, completely confused and lost.

My Grandfather look at my face, god know what my expression is like. He looked back at Boris then back at me. He seemed to be thinking about something. Boris finally broke the silence. 'Well? What's brought this on? You want him to be safe?'

Grandfather frowned. 'Of course I do. I love him.'

I dropped my glass, it smashed on the floor louder than I expected. The glass flew everywhere, my trousers got drenched in juice. Nevertheless, I couldn't take my eye's off my Grandfather. I was in complete shock. Frozen to the spot. It took a long time for me to realise I had just broke a glass. Those three words wouldn't leave my mind as I looked down at the pool of orange and glass. Those three words I have never heard go past his lips. Those three words he said so _easily_, as though he has said them before. Even Boris was shocked. His mouth was wide open. I stared dumbly at the mess below me. My Grandfather was unfazed by his own words.

'Kai.' I looked up, 'Clear the mess up.' He spoke almost the same way as Tyson's Grampa would only he would say:

'Yo, Tyson ma little man, clear that mess up will ya dude?' or something like that…

I hesitated before kneeling down to pick up the glass. Boris spoke. 'You _love. Him_?'

'Yes.' My grandfather said slowly. 'Is that a problem? Would you prefer it if it were you loving him? Only I don't love him in _that_ way.'

I grabbed a hand full of glass, not concentrating one bit. Was he referring to the abuse? I think he was.

'I don't understand.' Boris replied. I'm with him.

'It's very simple Boris, he is my grandson and it is my job to protect him. Shall we finish this in the study?' He stood up and made his way to the door, stopped and waiting for Boris to stand. He eventually did get up and followed. As Grandfather made his way past me, I looked at up to see him…_smiling at me_!! A friendly smile! If that wasn't shocking enough the next thing stopped my heart beating and caused my brain to malfunction. He ruffled my hair!!

He ruffled my hair!!

It was so weird. I'm scared of him when he's angry, disappointed, happy and about almost every other emotion I can think of. But when he's nice to me? Which isn't even an emotion, but when he's nice to me, which is never I'm terrified of him. I don't think I've ever been so confused in my life. Actually I have, Tyson and Max talking about 'I cant believe it's not butter' was extremely confusing. I'm not even going to think about it…

Grandfather made his way down the hallway and Boris glared at me as he walked by. Once they were out of sight, I looked back down at my hand to find blood dripping on the floor. I picked up the remains of my glass and put them in the bin. I got a cloth and wiped up the orange juice and blood with my cut free hand. I rinsed my hand under the tap and wrapped a dish cloth around it. I needed bandages, they were in the upstairs bathroom, next to my Grandfather's study.

I made my way slowly up the stairs, wondering what they were talking about. I went into the bathroom and opened the medicine cupboard. No first aid kit. Grandfather must have been using it at some point, it was always in here. I would have to ask him where it is. I went to study and opened the door just in time to see my grandfather pull the trigger on Boris.

BANG!


	3. Uncaring

**yay update!! i'm on a roll here!! lol thats 2 new chapters up in two days, for different stories i mean lol enjoy!!

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Broken love

**Chapter 3**

**Uncaring**

All I could hear was my own breathing. Time seems to have stopped. I watched Boris's body fall to the floor. When he hit the ground, I could hear no sound. I could feel my heart hammering away in my chest at a fast pace. My grandfather is staring at me, his eyes wide. He opens his mouth and speaks, but I cant hear him. It's like all my senses had shut down. I couldn't smell anything, I couldn't hear, feel. I could only see the horror in front of me.

'Kai!' My grandfathers voice boomed. I stumbled back slightly. 'Kai!' He came over to me and placed both hands on my face. His hands were rough like Boris's but warmer. For a brief moment I wanted him to hug me. I wanted him to hold me and tell me that everything was going to be ok. I wanted him to love me like any normal grandfather should. But I knew he would never do that, and I didn't want him too.

A loud scream erupted from my lungs, burning my throat. Next thing I know his hand was on my throat and my voice went dead. I choked as his hand tightened around my neck, hot air blew on me from his clenched teeth. His eyes soften, his grip around my throat loosens and I still scared shitless. He finally let go of me, his eyes burrowed into mine.

'Kai.' He said with that tone of voice I knew so well. Anger, he didn't want me to tell anyone, I could tell a mile off by his tone. 'Do not tell anyone about this! Do you understand?' Ha! I should get an award for knowing what he's about to say.

'Y-yea…um yes grandfa-der… gran…aan.' I couldn't even speak properly.

He seemed satisfied with my answer and gave me soft smile with raging eyes. And he's supposed to love me is he? 'Good boy.'

I heard footsteps behind me, heavy footsteps which must be from men. I turned around to find two men wearing gloves and black clothes. One man was muscular, ugly and had greasy hair. The other looked like an axe murder, his eyes were crazy!

'What's the kid doing here?' The greasy haired man asked looking at me as if I was something he just wiped off his shoe.

'He's just leaving for bed aren't you grandson?'

I am? 'Erm…yes?' The room seemed very still and quiet, I could feel my Grandfathers eyes on me. Waiting for me to leave. How long did I stand there staring at these two bloke for? I felt Grandfathers hands on my back as he gave me a push. I don't think he pushed all _that_ hard, but I still fell over. The two men sniggered while Grandfather sighed. I eventually picked myself up from the floor and stumbled out. I found my bedroom and collapsed onto the floor.

I was a mess.

I was in pain from the cuts Grandfather gave me last night. I was raped by my boyfriend on our first official day of boyfriend and boyfriend. I just witnessed a murder. Grandfather has seriously lost it. And I've peed myself. Badly.

The men were going down the stairs, my Grandfather following behind. I could have sworn he said something like 'Hide him well.' I suppose he's going to have Boris buried somewhere. As far as I know he doesn't have any family, so he wont be missed. He'll just a missing business man. I wonder if anyone will even notice he's disappeared?

Ten minutes pass and the bathroom door closes loudly. The pipes above my room tell me he's washing his hands, the sound of the water passing through the pipes turned my stomach. Was his hands covered in Boris blood? Even if his hands weren't visibly covered in blood, the blood was still there. He was a murderer. A murderer who may never get caught.

A few minutes fly by before the door opens, he walks down a good few feet to my door and walks in. His expression was hard to read, he was either trying to control his anger or trying to put on a caring face. I instinctively shuffle away from him.

He stood at the foot of my bed, staring down at me.

'What do you want?' I asked.

His strange expression turned serious and angry, 'I want your word Kai. You will not tell anyone about this.'

'…You murdered him.' I whispered.

'Yes, to protect you.' He lied, or at east I think he did anyway.

I knew he was lying, he doesn't care about me. 'Liar.'

He glared at me, 'You think I'm lying do you grandson? Would I really risk going to jail if I di…'

Before he could finish I exploded, I didn't usually lose it with him, I wouldn't dare.

'TO PROTECT ME? YOU HATE ME! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU WANT TO PROTECT ME? YOU PUT ME IN THAT FUCKING HELL HOLE OF AN ABBEY! YOU BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME! YOU'RE A MURDERER! YOU'VE MURDERED BEFORE! I KNOW YOU HAVE! YOUR NOT SCARED OF GOING TO JAIL, YOU'VE GOT YOUR FUCKING SHEEP TO DO ALL THE DIRTY WORK FOR YOU!'

The sheep I was referring to were his employers, like those two men. The people who follow Voltaire like a bad smell and do as he says for a barrel of cash.

'DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE SHOUT AT ME BOY! I DID THIS _YOU_!'

'NO YOU DIDN'T! YOU DID THIS FOR YOURSELF! YOU DID THIS SO I WOULD B ABLE TO TAKE OVER YOUR STUPID COMPANY! YOU DON'T LOVE ME YOU DON'T WANT TO PROTECT ME!'

My throat was killing me. I couldn't keep this shouting match up for any longer. Instead of screaming at him some more I got up off my bed and made my way to the door.

'Where are you going?' He shouted at me, his throat was obliviously sore too, he sounded like a dying frog.

'OUT!' I screamed, I wasn't supposed to scream but it just happened.

'Out where?' He demanded. I was sick of him always wanting to know where I was going, it was none of his business damn it! He put his arm to stop me from going anyway.

'Fuck you!' with all the anger boiling inside me I found the strength to push him out of the way. I caught him by surprise, he wasn't expecting a strong push. I smiled as he stumbled backwards and landed painfully on his backside.

Ignoring his shouts, I make my way down the stairs, ran to the front door and down the path. He was far too old to chase, he's probably do damage to his old hips. To my surprise he gave chase! A fifty-two year old running after a fifteen year old, how could he possible catch up with me? He stopped half way down the path, he wasn't tired out but he knew he'd never catch me.

I continued to run down the path, and through the big black gates with the huge gold 'H'. It was a ten minute run back to the city, I had to hide before he sent someone after me. Without really thinking I headed to the busy main street. The street was busy with shoppers and tourists, snapping pictures at boring buildings or walking dead slow around the shops, spending five minutes to look at one item. I shocked to see the antique shop full of shoppers, every time I walk past here its empty. I went in to have a look around once and everything was expensive. No wonder no one ever shopped there.

Everyone stared at me as they walked past. I wished I hadn't come to the busiest street in the whole city, I was crying like a baby. I couldn't control the sobs that escaped my mouth. I could feel my face heating up with embarrassment, sweat drenched my body and I was shaking uncontrollably. Most people gave me worrying looks a few people asked if I was ok, I simply nodded a yes.

Wanting to get away from all the eyes I headed up an alleyway and towards the quieter area of the city. There was less people going about, a few groups of kids looked at me then ran or just stared at me like I was some kind of weird giant blob walking around. It was irritating having strangers staring at me. Couldn't they just mind there own business and keep there eyes off my face?

The street was familiar. It was Tyson's street. I don't know what I was doing here, I suppose deep inside I wanted to see them. I wanted someone to hug me, comfort me. I wanted my friends.

I wanted Ray.

I wanted a rapist to comfort me. How sick in the head am I?

Tyson's house was just across the road. I was so close to them. I stared at the front door for quite some time. Without really thinking I walked out onto the road, right in front of a car. The screeching of the wheels snapped me out my daze, the driver stuck his ugly mug out of his window.

'Watch it you fuc…' He stopped dead in his sentence. He looked shocked.

I glared at him and continued across the road. On the pavement in front of me was something red. I guessed it was ice cream or a melted ice lolly, it reminded me of the blood oozing from Boris head. His brain was splattered on the floor. There was something I was missing from the memory. I couldn't put my finger on it.

A low thud knocked me out of my thoughts, I had just walked into the door. Very smart Kai. The Grangers door hadn't changed, neither had the rest of the house. Why should it? I've only been gone for two months.

Before I could stop myself I knocked on the door a few times as hard as I could. For the first time all day I realised I felt light headed and I was swaying slightly. I unconsciously rubbed my eye, feeling something wet and lumpy on my face. I picked it off my face, and then it became clear.

Boris's blood was all over my clothes and face.

When I opened the door to my Grandfathers study, the gun was shot. The bullet went straight through his head, I didn't see where the bullet went it must have flown past me. I could just see Grandfather with the gun in his hand over Boris's shoulder. Blood and brain splattered me. No one wonder everyone stared at me in shock. Why hadn't the police caught me?

The door slide open, revealing the raven haired rapist.

Ray.

He looked so ill. He had clearly lost weight. Dark rings dominated the area under his eyes with the lack of sleep and, hair was dull and flat as though it hadn't been washed for a good few days. He looked terrible. His eyes were so wide his eye balls could easily roll out their sockets.

We stared at each other. His eyes scanned my face, my hand remained close to my face, holding a bit a brain. The world was spinning around me, my stomach was churning.

Time dragged on and on as we stared at each in silence.

'Kai…' He whispered.

That did it.

My stomach had had enough. He jumped back as my stomach muscles contracted, pushing whatever was in it out. I threw up all over the ground, all over my trousers.

I looked up at him with watery eyes, my breathing was heavy. Ray himself was on the verge of tears.

'Oh god Kai!' He was at my side in a flash, unsure of what to do. He held his arms out and I literally threw myself into his arms. 'Kai…' He whispered.

I sobbed into his chest, holding him as tight as I could, afraid to let go. His fingers ran through my hair. 'It's ok.' He was crying, he was hugging me and didn't care. I finally had what I wanted, someone to tell hug and take care me. He kissed my cheek lovingly, and I freaked. I ducked my head slightly, I didn't want him to kiss me.

'Ok I'm sorry, I'm sorry!' He cried.

'Ray!' I sobbed.

'Shhhhh. It's ok I'm here. Everything's going to be ok. Come on, lets get you inside.'

I allowed him to lead me into the house towards the kitchen. I clung onto him for dear life, sobbing all the way to the kitchen. Ray opened the door, Grampa was right in front of us, he must have heard me crying and wanted to see what was going on.

'Kai?'

'Kai!' Tyson's voice boomed.

Before I knew it I was surrounded by my friends. Max, Tyson, Kenny, Hilary and Daichi. Even that stupid coach I hated got up to see me.

'Alright, alright! Give him space.' Grampa ordered.

They reluctantly stood back and watched me like a hawk. Ray sat me down on a seat and kneeled down beside me. He held my hand as I cried helplessly from all the stress. Tyson was at my other side but was pushed aside by Grampa. He cleaned my face and neck with a damp cloth, it made me wonder how much blood there was.

About five minutes later I calmed down. The tear had stopped flowing, however I still shaking. Grampa ran his hand through my hair. 'Are you ok?' He asked quietly. I shook my head. For once I was telling the truth.

'Kai!'

All head turned towards the door. He glared viciously at Ray. My Grandfather pushed Ma to the floor and took a hand full of Ray's hair. His scream filled the room as he was forced up onto his feet.

'Let go of him!' Grampa yelled at Grandfather. Before Grampa could even help Ray, my Grandfather threw Ray to the ground and grabbed my arm and pulled me off the seat.

'Your coming home with me Kai! What the hell do you think your playing at letting this, this _rapist_ near you?' He spat at me.

'Let Kai go Voltaire! You had no right to barge in here and attack Ray!' Grampa yelled. I've never seen him so angry.

'No right? He raped my grandson!' He pulled me towards him so I was pressed into his chest. I caught Ray's shocked eyes, he looked away. I didn't want him to look away. 'You!'

Ray and I jumped at my Grandfathers tone. 'You are not getting away with what you've done! I'll have your ass thrown in jail you fucking sick faggot!'

The look on Ray's face left a mark on my mind. He was so guilty. His face had guilt writing all over it.

My friends followed, all except Ray. They watched me get into the sleek black 1971 Chevy Nova along with my Grandfather, my friends half gapped at the American muscle car and half glared at Grandfather.

'I'll have that boy dead.' He muttered to himself.

* * *

**a lot of shouting going on this chapter lol sorry about the swearing btw lol oh and apoligies for the faggot comment i know its an offensive towards gays but this _is_ voltaire were speaking about i had to have him say something horrible please review!**


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